General, Mindfulness l

We the people- PART 2

Continuing from where I left, there are so many species amongst us humanity who make for interesting observations . Today I delve into a few more..

I have met and seen so many of if- then -else lot that my first memories of basic computer programming comes into fore! This interesting lot have very conveniently slotted their lives into this mode. Any experience that life has to offer is diagnosed to the last tee in this mode. If this happens, then this will happen, else this will be the outcome! So much thought goes into programming your mind in matters that have not seen the light of the day. Here caution somewhere has disproportionately taken over on the smallest joy of living. It’s true that all rational reasoning has to be apportioned for but this lot takes all thinking to an altogether different level. The net result is missing out on small joys. These folks also take over cautious approach to food intakes, minor health glitches and the likes. The more one looks around, one head is always there which subscribes to this philosophy of life. Nothing really wrong as long as the rationale is rationalised and convinced in their minds and most often they manage to convince themselves rather well and go on with their living being oblivious to the unnecessary loads their minds hold.

The self tagging lot is another brood of our vast human species. You meet one and very quickly the ice breaker is towards the time of the day they are the brightest! I am a morning/night person, I am a coffee/tea person, etc. etc. Of course, personal preferences do play a great role for a meaningful existence but this self tagging sounds rather limiting. It kind of gets in the way of sudden unexpected days/ events/ situations for them. Again, it’s all slotting in their minds only and it seriously need not be given the weightage it does! Habits can be changed to suit and better ones lifestyle and the slotting , if any, only mars their evolvement. Funny, but true how weather, coffee and tea takes up so much of ones time and thoughts, even becoming the main conversation pieces for some , much to the chagrin of many!

The critics/doubters are so prevalent and if they weren’t like this at some point in their lives, the general feeling of displeasure make them one! Here, the situation is viewed only from a narrow lens of mostly self convenient options and convincing the mind thereof, the rest falls under criticism of the utmost nature. I have very close set of people who fall in this criticism trap. Their minds only somehow sees what it wishes to see but the larger picture is rather obscured. Their “buts ” become so much that talking to them feels like a pain in the backside literally !! Their self doubting minds  plays havoc with them and this is seen very  clearly to an outsider. Try and explain the ills of it and you might end up getting the brunt of age, so called more and wider experience and seen life more closely kind of feedback. It’s a given that learning is ongoing, be it from the generation before us, ahead of us and of course our current lot. The mind just has to be calmer and the criticisms evaluated well before they are placed forward for all to see. Else, this lot become silent victims of their own thought process.

There are many more categories of people I can think of and I might just be tempted to write  part 3! After all, it’s us humanity which makes our world interesting!

General, Mindfulness l

We the people- PART 1

Life and living is such a wonderful blend of myriad people we end up interacting with daily. The many lot in one’s repertoire makes for interesting observations and learnings. The uniqueness of everyone while being different makes for good insights.

I thought of penning down a few in broad categories and this is purely stemming from my own experiences. The finer nuances are but an altogether different category within these broader ones!

There are the general acquaintances who for most parts are kept in the general box of people I know and am comfortable with that . Casual greetings and kept to yourself thoughts make up this lot. A great number of people fall into this box if one is a parent of school going children. So many faces ring a bell but such little is known of them. Just their outward appearance and brief talks is enough for gauging the potential of they moving up in your own personal ladder of adding people in your lives. Why, actually after a certain life stage, less is more feels more comfortable!

The all discerning people come with their own know it alls. Some absolute genuine ones are gems and open to fresher insights and it’s interesting to be with them while some believe rather strongly about the old adage of” knowledge is power.” These latter ones could be hijacking every conversation in the yarn of knowing more , at least thats what their minds tell them. The ground reality is very different when met on a one on one basis as the real soul has no choice but to speak up his thoughts in a more close knit set up and then the proverbial opening up of the Pandora’s box happens! Honestly, it’s absolutely just fine to not know everything under the sun and moon but the seemingly discerning soul is not in acknowledgment of this. It requires deft handling and veneering the talks from their point of view to a larger world view. No one here is trying to gain brownie points but the idea is to enjoy those wonderful brownies together ! Experiential lot speak with more clarity and depth of understanding compared to heresay and bookish know how lot.

Then , there are those  Insecure minds who try and justify every action of theirs without being told to. The outside rational viewers can see this trait but at the same time find it hard to explain the demerits of it all to them lest it be construed as you being the lucky soul in the world. Hidden comparisons only raises their insecurities further.

Unbiased and non judgemental factors really works wonders but the human mind thinks otherwise. The ones that I know who have these wondrous qualities are really unfettered by the many going ons  àround them and somehow are at peace. It is almost become my very mission to be like one of them ! Here emulation is, I know for the larger good . Sadly there’s no hidden formula but small conscious changes can get me there I feel, even if not all the way though in this lifetime! The weather, universe and its bounties are for all in equal measures,it’s only how each of us take it personally and grows or benefits or uses them to favour our own lives that makes the difference.

There are so many other lots , sub lots and I will very soon pen down PART 2 of this!

At the end of it all , the strive should be to be oneself and accept oneself with utmost level of self worth and confidence. Anything else is a mere pretence.

General, Mindfulness l

FOCUS

So now looks like we all have taken 2019 in our stride rather well..why, the number of feet pounding those mud tracks in the jogging arena of the parks around seem to say so! The beginnings of fitness schedules have kicked off in more ways than ever. It’s now left to see the sustenance levels of those happy or tired or focussed feet.

Whatever it is that one has consciously taken a stock of, evaluated and considered worthwhile to pursue can be done with dedicated focus. Unrealistic goals should be steered clear off the course and reasonable measured small jobs in areas where we wish to better ourselves have to be focused upon. Taking too much on one’s plate is a recipe for utmost frustration and near zero results. Even if the results from these many chosen endeavours does see the light of the day, the hidden stresses would prove to be detrimental later on.Wisdom only says to quantify and break the whole into doable and dealable parts and timely evaluation of the same. Regular sustained efforts should be the yardstick. The new year is but a fuzzy line separating the year gone by with the current one! In my view no change of the date/ calendar should hold us or propel us to take the steps we wish to towards our own greater good.

I , for one , have assessed over time and experience the areas where I need to focus and the results , as and when, would ONLY gratify me to the greatest possible extent  . Alongside, the wish is always there to see this affecting the people who matter in my existence in a positive manner. In the broader scope, these are the usual suspects all of us have to deal with in our lives- the physical, emotional, social , intellectual and spiritual issues. How well we try to change/ enhance/ acknowledge /improve our own shortcomings is the only measure. The gratitude in the end will be the completion of our own self chosen goals and how well we enmesh them in our everyday living. Here, work in progress can be rolled over to timelines which again, should be set by us and ONLY US ! Our living will make us slip in many areas owing to circumstantial pressing urgencies but as long as the will, determination and continuous reminder is with us, we are there.

Acceptance of our rough edges and smoothening the ones we wish to is something very personal to each of us and it’s  nice to keep it that way. Awareness and focussed approach should see us getting to where we wish to without the date and year fuzz.

General, Mindfulness l

Weather and mood and more

So, the weather does play a big role in ones temperament and I am one big affected soul with the way the wind blows! During this time of the year, there is a general feeling of joy and cheer and this cascades on to all things and people around. The air seems nicer, the mood is upbeat and what better way to begin ones day with that mug of coffee tasting better cupped in those warm cozy hands!

The walks, drives , short trips around all seem more pleasant and invigorating.The intake of goodies goes up exponentially and the waist and guilty heads grows parallelly. Still, justifications to the great weather feels and sounds comforting. The holidays and general light heads all add up to the winter glory. In this , kids’ extra shenanigans are given the nod and inudulgences become the key, be it the Santa Claus kinds or the holiday – mood parent kinds.

Friends and family all add up to this year end mood. Parties, outings and social connects make for good memories. All possible gratitude thoughts and other such feelings begin to surface in various forms and shapes. The exercise routines are well attended to and  the thought that the new year will bring in fresh and renewed listings for weight and other such checks and controls, life and living seems all very optimistic and sorted! It’s actually just a change of the date but somehow, the whole piece of I will do this and I will do that takes centre stage. Realistically, no weather and change of date/ day should be the deterrent , but it is for many and probably justified rather convincingly too!

So, here’s cheers to all things bright and beautiful and to see better versions of ourselves in the new year . Good weather, holidays especially the year end ones have always been the yard sticks for positively and they do have a say for our minds and matters.  As long as we are true and in complete acknowledgment to our thoughts and feelings , the turn of the day will surely be brighter!

General, Mindfulness l

Truly, health is wealth

So this whole of last month has been rather busy with our annual travels to meet parents, in laws, festivals and the added measure was minor ailments..yes, all this came in the way of clean mind space to pursue written thoughts! Now hopefully all that is behind and the joys of punching those keys should resume!

When physical health goes for a toss, life suddenly swerves ! Even hearing about close acquaintances going through health troubles slows down our own mental make up. No matter how positive one tries to stay, those glitches does hamper our existence.There’s truly nothing else that should matter more to anyone other than good physical health. It keeps us on, keeps us positive and mostly keeps us happy. Our personal health is all very much in our hands and each ones formula is very distinct to that individual. There’s no one rule for all, no matter how many rants about dietary and exercise this or that’s are written about. Here, one has to figure out exactly what works for those endorphins release but release they must! Be it in a long relaxed walk or a jog/ run with music and adrenaline pumping, or a new form of dance taken as a hobby or a completely new or a long lost sport restarted, anything that keeps our physical form going is a great thing. Sudden unexpected and so completely out of time and age small discomforts with our bodies can come up at any stage of our living and dealing with these requires a good frame of mind which stems from good mental and physical health.

It’s nice to sit and figure out at different stages, what changes need to be incorporated to keep ourselves going great. What worked yesterday might be required to either be modified or tossed out for a different life stage. Our own physical being is ever changing so it’s only prudent then to understand us and accept our current physical state humbly.

Rigidity with a few things and flexibility with a few others should do the trick. Too fussed or overthinking or too many restrictions on self can prove to be self detrimental. As in everything else, balance and good understanding of ones own anatomy works wonders. All and all, taking the health glitches in our stride but consciously focussing on positivity is the way forward as we grow or age.

General, Mindfulness l

Friends and more

Friends and friendships are one of our great social connections in our lives. Friends are made right from neighbourhood to school to college to work and then at the parenthood stage, to friends of kids friends’. Then, there are the social group friends, the pals made at various hobby outlets ,the social contacts with friends of friends and many others. Whom we once called our really good friends also has its own shelf life depending on our very own life stage. What felt like our true and truer pals cease to be so not for anything else but for the growth each one has taken and their current circumstances.

Friends drop and add as we journey through our lives. Some old school/ college friends either fade away with time or different geographies makes it difficult to stay connected on a personal level. Of course, the current age has made it possible to stay in touch but unless physical connections are there, one cannot fathom the depth of the relationship. Some very dear ones made in your teens and 20’s begin to feel distant to you in your current stage and frame of mind. Part of it could be owing to each ones own evolution and growth which either has kept pace with yours or has taken a very different one and of course there is the part where the regularity of staying in touch has not been there. You move on, they move on and when you meet after really really long, you find it not so easy to connect and relate. One definitely has a nice time with time spent on that day or that evening but then we leave it at that. Also, you could have enhanced your mind with different experiences whereas they would have remained either static in their minds or veneered in directions completely unrelatable to you and so closes another friendly chapter with the person. It merely stays then as an acquaintance. There is no regret in it though!

With time constraints, it’s getting increasingly tougher to find someone with whom you could really really talk without constant punctuations about their own set of woes and worries. Each one has his own share of issues to counter yours. You sit wondering what you really expected was a good ear but what you got instead is an unwanted earful. Such is life and such are friendships! The good part is at every stage, there is always someone to lean on to!

Mindfulness l

Mind over matters

My interest in the growth trajectories the kids take continues and so will my observations around them. However as a departure, I hope to write on life and the many other myriads we are all a part of, the social connections we establish over time and the way we engage ourselves in our lives. These too would be coming out of personal experiences!

This one today is on the importance of feeling good , positive, hopeful and most of all happy with our lives. To start on this, so very often the matter at hand is not so out of control as our minds are. The ability to deal with issues seems so lost that everything and everyone becomes a difficult task to deal with. The situations on ground have not changed much, it’s our mind and our attitude! There are the normal happy souls going about doing their chores but somehow they seem to be invisible or all of a sudden, the green grass on the other side theory kicks in and wallowing in self pity takes over. The sheer ability to pull yourself out of the cesspool of your own thoughts becomes a Herculean task. The many thoughts, insecurities, fears start to create havoc in our minds and all of a sudden life seems to spin out of control. Nothing much, largely, has changed on the ground !

The way out of this is to sit back in a calm manner and somewhere do a very conscious analysis of the self and the situation  that has triggered this unrest. The optics of visualisation has to be assessed and changed , if needed. Difficult as it may look, it’s the way to go on. Mostly, the mind controls itself and happy thoughts start triggering in once again. Sometimes, when the mind is disturbed, temporary escapes like books ,movies , foods, friends  does the feel good work but then, honestly, they are temporary. In the heart of it all, conscious reasoning out with self is the only honest way of bouncing back.

Mental health is really really  precious and has to be taken good care of. Happiness indeed has to become a very integral part of our lives. My very recent experience in knowing two very close individuals battling mental health issues has triggered this write up! It’s nice to see that both are limping back to normalcy.