General, Mindfulness l

Kids and why?

Cannot blame them for the restlessness and whys if we adults get the home fatigue way too often in these new times. We can at least use our better judgement and more controlled mind in getting used to this way of home arrest but really can’t hold them to ransom so very often, and probably rightfully so! It’s their age to be outdoors, to meet with friends, to engage in game play and beyond a point, no amount of cajoling can get their little minds to accept this harsh reality of measured existence. Even the times they sometimes step for external stimulation for the weather, open air, bigger panorama to watch etc. , it is no cure patch for their fragile minds and at the end of the day it is still a very secluded lifestyle and a very alone kind of eerie feeling.  Their very wry remarks of ” my walls are tired of looking at me” , ” no fun in celebrating birthdays without the missing candies in school “, ” no egging and nudging” etc. etc.paints  a very morose kind of picture…remarkably  still, the way their resilience shows up is amazing, time and again!

Most of us older folks have gotten over the many NO’s with them in this stage. Conscious policing is helping at times, but mostly the reins are let loose..now HOW exactly all of this will pan out is a wait and watch kind of scenario. Maybe the good that might come out of it is a good bit of detachment from the world of see and learn and maybe the other merits kick in, maybe their world and their worldview could take a turn for the better, who knows?? maybe saturation with devices would become a pleasant eye opener for us , everything is rather in the hope and pray department! Till such time, one has no choice but to patiently answer their eternal question of ” when am i getting to meet my friends and play with them?” The teachers in their online school are also putting up quotes for them to visit and revisit the  ” tough times don’t last, tough people do”sorts. This too has a wry outlook for them and a very contrived, make believe sort of reassurance!

Now that some leeway is offered for many of these little prisoners of time, feet are their best bet for a stroll or a leasurely walk around the block with adequate protection. Cycling comes to the rescue for the ones who have it. A neighbourhood friend joining in with them in this pursuit brings about the feeling of remote connectivity. On and all, these little souls are and should be given that extra dose of pamper pills for calming their pent up potential energy and most of us folks are doing that. Technology, we all thought can take over our lives but the extent was never known! The gentle transformation of these waves have almost reached a crescendo way before time where the kids are concerned. Let’s hope Mother Nature restores the balance soon for all of us to step out, meet and greet and eat and play together!

General, Mindfulness l, Uncategorized

Comfortably numb or comfortably settled?

So, with most humanity behind closed doors, so many obvious stuff is made more obvious and has now come out loud and clear..

The general health, here I am addressing the physical one, is better than ever before with strict and somewhere Hitler- like form of stricter adherence to timely intake of edibles. ( the opposite is also true in cases! ). Tall order to be at the table and adherence to it has benefitted the otherwise mind- convincing hacks of consuming meals -when -able kinds and also trial and error with more outside options. The takeaway option does exist and the drive is still there to try and experiment with neatly packaged easy to consume meals but somewhere the resistance is working alongside!

All exciting new experiments in the kitchen by one and all was the rage when this whole wave began; now , with time , all has but ceased to exist..more of us now realise and understand the merits of normalcy where stomachs are concerned. The race to outdo self has now settled in a calm pace and rather than sprinting excitedly on this track, we seem to be happy with a slow walk down the our kitchen’s path. The results are all but seen in many with ” feeling fit ” without the very exhaustive fitness regimen. Basic staple can be so very lovely is now better understood than ever before.

The birds nesting and the young ones showing their beaks was observed almost like a live science show! Their growth patterns and trajectories were marked with a smile what newness and new creations brings forth. The green buzz around all of us became the new buzzword. So far, we have experienced one season changing to the other, willy nilly though, but now the comfortably settled numbness is secretly hoping to see yet another change of season from the confines of our homes. A lot of mind crunching work has also been achieved in this period for a different tomorrow by many , and it’s waiting in the wings to soar. One has to really jog his memory to realize when this kind of a mind resetting exercise was done earlier. The freshness and joy for rejuvenated thinking will definitely bear fruit when we all step out in the new world.

So many mindful thoughts are emanating towards compassion, empathy and the likes that, were it to consume all of us, we would pat ourselves on our backs in its close understanding and relevance. Of course, the zoom meets are waiting to be hurled out of our windows and the mere waves and acknowledgements are waiting for contact approval . This lacuna somehow just can’t be gotten over, and rightfully so for coexistence! No fun in outdoor and car meetings at all..All and more have learned to coexist or will learn soon but the touch and feel, brick and mortar and kick and play is what all of us are really seeking! Till such time, comfortable numbness is becoming the way to move on and probably rightfully so for mental peace and calm.

General, Mindfulness l

Originality compromised?

Was always I guess,  but is more apparent in today’s age..my kids still enjoy the game Pictureka..for all who aren’t aware, it’s tag line is “find it first, find it fast”..many pictures on a grid and the one who gets to point them out first is a clear winner.Today’s scenario with the barrage of whatsapp and other media feed, mostly over-fed is following this pattern more than ever before..very few are eyeball worthy; most are veneering towards an overdose of ideas and opinions of people, some sure fully baked and ready to consume but most of them half baked! The originality is all but missing from all except the creative brain behind it. Copying is so rampant for many that they sometimes forget that the pool of misinformation and sometimes excitement provided is available to all with a device in their palms. Were they to use their well formed cranium, we would all be blessed with so many more interesting reads and opinions..of course, this feed is there in plenty for consumption for the seekers and they sure have ways of finding them.

My write here is to emphasise the excitement for borrowed excitement! Basically, the mojo of many is to be the first,or at least think they are , in many spheres and really nothing wrong about it ! It is when this so called original and first cascades down only to note that there’s nothing original about it!. All the existing art, culture, thoughts, ideas etc. have been in existence from time immemorial and it’s the way one tweaks them that makes it interesting. There is so much joy to touch, feel and try and miss and retry and the loop going on thereof. The glitches in original creations but demands a gentle eye from many, primarily because of the glitches. With time, one does come to realise that most thought-of original ideas are anything but original. But the take each one takes from it is what makes it wonderfully original. The drive today has become to quickly forward many forwards thinking about it as being the original one to transmit information, willy nilly. The excitement for feeling to be the first of the many firsts is phenomenal! Kids are becoming the major contributors in this. Shuddering to think now with times changing rapidly to more heads ducking down, how much more challenging will it be to get these young ones to sieve and possibly plug out this barrage of the many tempting multitudes!?

The constant desire to be ahead of everyone is, I suppose the driver for all of this. It’s nice to develop a world view to be ahead of others which could be an assimilated coalition of many a reads, many a hearsay, many an eavesdrop , also, at times, many a thoughtful listening, many an engaged conversation. That would be definitely considered original in every which way. Why, even small things like the eating patterns of an individual tweaked to bring about an eye opening originality can be a treat! Endorsing people’s opinion to tune into their inner core emotional state may also prove to be a good learning experience . After all, it’s through experiences and learnings thereof one grows as a person , in form and character as well.Good strive , I guess, to be original in thoughts, opinions and ideas with gentle tweaking and trying and being the ” first among equals” in many a things, if at all..

With so much at stake in the current times, good to note that many of us are trying to bring in small joys and make our life worth living. Just a tad bit reduction in borrowed excitement can bring in more personalised joys and with so much of thinking time available, am sure most of us are treading that path. Own found, own cultivated and own honed with own copyrights would be a wonderful outcome.

General, Mindfulness l

Our interdependency

Never thought that we, the larger mass of any nation would be so clued in as to what is happening at the country level, as in, the work done by the various authorities and their interdependency and our own interdependency with all of them ! Today, with the media blast of how the jigsaw works , all are getting to know more and more about everything . Of course, going forward, this will result in more drawing room conversations; some insightful, some skewed, some erratic, but the moot point here is that today, a lot of us know how one thing leads to another and how the dominoes cascade down with people, work and situations.

While more and more are getting attuned to the world of tomorrow, still unknown, unsure, uncertain in many ways; some accelerating their lives, some reminiscing the good old days of measured lifestyle but the one common thing that is emerging is the swerve of the otherwise oblivious and ignorant self of many know- how’s about people and processes to a gentler U turn towards more knowledge in things than were outside their comfort zone and domain and probably never ever thought of! Why would we be bothered about how we get the fine ingredients or even the basics in our kitchens as long as we get them, why and how are the kids concerned about how they get their stationery, food/ junk supplies etc.. Suddenly, all have become adept at the cross functions of the systems that run a smooth machinery for our blissful living and lives! I am hoping the term ” essentials and non- essentials ” are understood more by my kids!

All and more is getting assimilated in the minds and absorbed by the individual in ways they can comprehend and grasp it. The outcome will be fascinating to see! But for sure , more economic, business, commercial , social terms like economy, GDP, clinical trials, supply chain etc. have surely been added to their common everyday lexicon, willy-nilly. How interdependent are we as a race is known more than ever before. More and more global awareness is the new norm. So many geographies are merged such that a sneeze in Italy is heard here and likewise. The roles of so many professionals is getting a clearer picture in many a minds. Closer in, and at homes, the behaviour of the spouses and partners in their work set ups and their working patterns is exposed, sometimes to their chagrin too , but the skeletons sure are out!!

With so much awareness may come/ should come more responsibility , sensitivity and evolvement.. let’s see how each of us takes all this added , almost forcefully thrusted information for all our greater good! The important point here, is to reduce the dependency on otherwise taken for granted people and processes  , yet , to use our discretion and wisdom to think and act independently.

General, Mindfulness l

Future tense?

So now we are all settled in this pace of living , but beyond a point in time, there is this nagging question in everyone’s mind , till how long am I held captive? How much more time till I can spread my wings and fly? When is the freedom which is freedom in the true sense of the word realised? When, after seeking too much within can I seek the outside!?!

It’s time to ponder over these and of course, no one can tell what our reaction would be when the coast is clear, will it be one of exhilaration, happiness, pleased, relieved or something . Will these home -bound memories last long enough to create a dent in lifestyle and living? So here, while the world is exercising caution at every step, would the world of tomorrow sensitise us, make us aware of our role on this planet, make our minds continue to live with the precautions and lifestyles we’ve all adopted and adopted so very well, or is it going to be a long slur best forgotten and march on in life with oblivion once again? In this, there would be sectors of humanity who would take this lifestyle of caution, precaution and masking further on but somewhere a little pessimistic bird inside me tells me we will soon forget this experience with time. This might purely stem from the fact that the human mind is capable of erasing difficult and unpleasant memories very well or to put it in current perspective, mask them! Yet, another way to look at this is , yes, why live life with fear, which is the baneful and defeatist way of addressing issues ,yet another way is out of defiance, also maybe out of sheer frustration having been denied all the worldly materialistic joys( and let’s be honest, many of us do like to live life that way and nothing wrong with it) or yet another school of thought is big deal, the big guns out there will make the necessary pill for us so let’s just carry on the way we were.

I feel we all will come out with mixed feelings and both school of thoughts will coexist, the ones who would ride the vwave of paranoia even more and the ones who will move on as if nothing adverse now will happen to them in the foreseeable future..This sure will make a mention in the history books of our future generations as a one off case but are we/ do we move on with only the history books to do the talking or otherwise? Difficult to dig into the human mind as much as robots are trying to, it’s one big mesh of a lot of emotions which would come into play. The only thing we can hope to be is tread on the world with awareness, sensitivity, living IN the moment and FOR the moment . Even if this is achieved, we can all pat ourselves on our backs and move on as more positive individuals and a more conscious society. Eventually, some day in the future, the world would write about our resilient race and our coping mechanism and our coming out stronger and as better human beings.

General, Mindfulness l

2 paces..

Outside is the old world charm..go out to buy groceries and essentials as and when and along the way, may encounter a few souls, else it’s all serene and peaceful. The bylanes to the neighbourhood shop are seen and felt in more ways than ever before.The drive, if at all, is all smooth minus the regular chaos and the many snarls accompanying it. In all of this , all the associated tempers the outside world poses for us are by far in a deflated state . The chaos, as always, is all within us in different forms. Some have overcome them, some trying to..

Outside has taken us back almost 30 years. Inside has accelerated the pace by years with all of us adopting the technology of today and an unknown tomorrow. Ironically, it has also slowed us down in some ways..

Outside is the sound of nature and birds chattering. The natural world is absorbed and felt in all it’s avatars at different hours and times of the day which otherwise was all too oblivious. Inside is all the human elements at play, some happy, some a struggle.

Outside is all feeling fresh and new with spring time flowers, refreshing greens and the likes while amongst all of us humanity, we are refreshing our old memories, thoughts, friends , family in more ways than ever thought of before.Barring the human personal interactions, all but otherwise is going on as ever.

Outside is an eerie silence , inside is the turmoil of uncertainty.

Paradoxically, all is ok but not ok.

In all of this, it’s nice to feel utterly and immensely proud of thy selves in trying and managing and after a point in time ,managing it rather well! What felt , at first, an insurmountable task today has been overcome by each of us in our own individual way with our own individual rhythm. Here again, our good resilience has played a major role.In more ways than ever before, most of us are experimenting with the many bold and beautiful stuff the world has to offer in all its bounties. It is with a great sense of self pride should we all be strutting about when we step into the world of tomorrow. The world, per se,  would be the same as we have left it but probably we all would be stepping outside with a lot more awareness, know-how about things and self and of course, if empathy, understanding, calmness and contentment become our second nature, it is for all of us to experience the resetted world through a different lens.

My children too are looking forward to having physical encounters and the social connect which has been the missing element, else the pace of life and living has been established by them all so peacefully . Feelings of gratitude pour out at every step they sense within their limited understanding. Stepping aside for a minute to acknowledge our going through tough times with grace and dignity will only enhance our self worth and make us feel super proud of our immense abilities.

Let’s all try and connect the paces of the outside and the inside for a more tolerant and understanding self and a more harmonious living.

General, Mindfulness l

Bouncing back!

A lot has gone on for the past few week s which has kept me from penning my thoughts, but then I found my balance in all of this so here I go again..

No matter where or how life’s path has put you in, there’s always a way forward. One nasty experience can set you back but rational thinking and sticking to what you believe in can make you bounce back. I very recently went through the torture of being caught, unawares in an unpleasant experience which involved the emotions of both, me and my kid. More so, the mind didn’t wish to accept and believe this learning as something relevant and apt so the revolt was even more. It was a drudge and a drag but no doubt, this uninteresting experience for both of us was for sure, a learning to deal with people and places! Sticking to my self belief was the saving grace to make me pull out from any further drags in this experience. The initial feeling was one of despair and hopelessness but a constant talking to the mind in reiterating my belief in this made me bounce back. The point is, no matter how badly one is stuck in and no matter how much one feels about the chips being down, there is always a way to bounce back and come alive again.

Taking this to the scenario we are in today, the only way to get ourselves up and going is to take all of this as an almost life changing experience and repeatedly tell ourselves and remind ourselves that this too shall pass . The new pace of life has been reset by most of us in our own individual way and it’s heartening to know how well we all have moved from denial to frustration to acceptance. Here again, it’s our mind which has reset itself and found new ways of convincing and believing in it. Yes, it’s a huge solace to know that we are not alone in this so maybe that’s made it more tolerant and accepting.

Let’s hope and pray we all bounce back from this and till such time, make the most of this once -in -a -lifetime experience, call it god sent or man made or any other appropriate label one chooses to.

The resilient ones are already on the other side of this, namely the young ones here who have carefully chalked out all their future plans. Well, the future , in some scenarios looks cancelled for many of us but for these little lots, there’s a lot waiting for them. Just awaiting for the go-ahead signal is all they will need to bounce back. Sometimes, this child like thinking can make us feel more bouncy than we are and who doesn’t need that more NOW ! So while we are all discovering new age living modules and technology has really made it easier for the lot of us who have the access to it, let’s keep the faith going for the many and a speedy recovery from all of this! Slotting the current situation in the HOPE AND PRAY department will keep us all going.  Smile and the world will be a happier place!

General, Mindfulness l

Relationships

So many are we a part of! the obvious ones and the obscure ones, each having their own merits. On a recent trip to be a part of a well thought of get together, so many new and old relationships formed the core of togetherness..everyone was scampering around to meet and greet family and bond over the old and new.The joys on faces was seen and felt in equal measures. The established relationships were going through the loop of connecting and joining the dots from the previous meeting and the new ones were beginning to see the telltale future signs of similar connections! It’s actually fun to see how hard the younger generation tries in making their offsprings connect to the golden oldies. There’s awe, there are charming gestures and all and all there is the really good drive on their part to integrate the young blood into the old broods. Pictures, both old and new, become critical in showing lineages and with the barrage of new gen technologies,the relationships of the old and new get blended rather well. The warm welcomes accorded to establish new relationships is actually heart warming to see and feel and experience. It was all but wonderful to see the generation-span all woven in happy togetherness!
Relationships, established over time, have their own sense of quirkiness and idiosyncrasies and it’s fun at times, deja vu in situations but overall a good mix of fun and frolic amidst some skirmishes which are a part of any relationship that has stood the test of time. They prove to be wonderful seams to zip up the existing bonds and sometimes familiarity to people and faces brings about an altogether new level of observation and learning thereof each time they all meet.The longevity of relations established is actually an investment of time, despite distances, proximity or otherwise. They need to be nurtured on a sustained and periodic basis. Tough to do so , though, in this fast moving world. There’s also a thing called the relationship fatigue..happens to all of us when it’s exhausting to just keep the bonds going on. Maybe when this fatigue sets in, might be nicer to step aside for a while than to go ahead and in the bargain develop those cracks which might be difficult to mend. Sometimes, being incommunicado for resetting ones own being and self might just be better for all concerned. The have-to maintain law has to be broken at times, when the mind gives such signals. In time, it would all smoothen out when the will and desire to reconnect emerges again. Till such time, it’s prudent to maintain a safe distance. Liberties taken , sometimes, backfires and it all spins out of proportion!

Tough and tiring to build and maintain relationships but at the end of it all, it is the people around us who either make or break our day but required nonetheless for a meaningful existence. Real life people and not our virtual wonders is what keeps us going afterall.

Beingmommy, Children, Mindfulness l

Soft skills upgradation

While it is very important to have our hardwares very hard- wired, what makes for an improved version is to invest in good softwares. As rapidly and with the speed with which the programming software is changing, our speed too needs to match up with the changing thoughts of our kids else we too would become redundant in their current existence and no one wishes for that to ever happen.

As written and spoken everywhere about change being the only constant, I see myself changing my optics of reality ever so often. The basic core values remain the rock solid hardware in my system; what changes and will continue to do so is the software. I feel the constant rewiring required at my end to ensure the talk -machine in an always ON mode else the OFF button would be pushed very quickly and I really wouldn’t like that. It will , though, someday , sometime and I  will deal with that then! So for now, daily small sessions on the so-called gossip in school is very attentively heard. So also the absolute drivel talk at times but great nonetheless as it gives me cues on the changing thought process of the pre teens/ beginning teen sagas. Amidst all those small white lies emerges a lot of new feelings and emotions. Some  stuff in my list of total unmentionables earlier have now moved to the mentionable list and this just brings out a smirky reaction from my end as I can see the intent behind this. Some eye opening , jaw dropping , but least bit mouth watering stuff are all but taken in good stride!

Talking about the change /appropriateness of the language used as kids begin to rise to the occasion of being ordained as teenagers! Another soft skill which has to be timely upgraded to the beta, theta ..stage. The basics from their end that are , at times, pushed beneath the carpet in the yarn of cool dude attitudes need to be ever so often unearthed. I hear the derided talk in my household from the big sibling to the small one and my alert ears and antenna grab them, then a long tirade begins and it all ends on a soft note. If not, newer methods are adopted for a more effective hearing! And, am sure, this is different and ever changing in all households!

All in all, it’s this core called VALUES like respect, regard and the likes which has made all of us and our reactions and our outcomes are all testimony to that, both in our eyes and also to the external lot of eyes that meet us daily . Here, some reactions  of course are shifted  in the big box of circumstances and surroundings and tick ✅ marked  thereof but most tick -offs are a result of what has been inputted, upgraded and kept up with the changing times as we grow. After all, studies and researches have shown and of course we all have heard and read that it’s not the great infrastructure only that produces great athletes, it’s the investment on the part of the coaches, it’s not the so called big and great schools and education institutions only that produce good students, it’s the teachers who are the enablers to make good human beings out of simple innocent minds, no good is the basic hardware without the upgraded software and it’s the development thereof.

On the macro level too, we see that the great framework of a government doesn’t necessarily generate a good governance, it’s the drivers of this that makes or breaks a country.

Good idea to update and upgrade our thoughts and ideas on this.

Beingmommy, Children, Mindfulness l

Experiential learning

Now that my kids have reached the pre teen/ teen stage, the ride hereon is on rather potholed roads with many bumps but yes, the trip is on! It’s so much easier to pen a book or advice or rethink or reevaluate etc. when the learning is all mostly done on our part! It all wouldn’t have been possible had we not faced the many roadblocks in our way. So much simpler to suggest to the younger ones, yes suggest and not command or order, on the do’s and don’t of the impressionable teens. I have paused here and let the experience do the talking where they are concerned. Yes, no better way to learn than going through the loop, trial and error and hit and miss targets! It’s actually fun to see the kids raging and charging or recoiling, all of different temperaments, different temperatures and fluctuating moods and let them go with the flow and alongside be with them by the sidelines and watch the show! No fun in policing ever so often. We all know that somewhere it would all pan out ok. It’s this belief that should be reinforced , not the power of motherly negation. So much fun would be lost if I don’t see them sneaking on devices, checking out people, stomping and stroking and the likes!

Most , rather ALL of us have the hindsight theory to set things right, but this has come only much later. Nothing can come close to real life experiences. My two are trying out different stuff and more or less some mind map is on in their heads. Without an inclination to relevant subjects, their talks speak of a tomorrow where they see themselves as specialists in the ignored subjects of today! Am playing along with them lest I become the no-go – to mom which I shudder. So without the slightest admiration for the gorgeous structures and buildings amidst all our travels so far, am absolutely with them seeing them as the perfect eye for detail architects amidst kicking the football..who knows , their mind could be seeing a trajectory that I am blind to today or tomorrow when they themselves see the fallacy of their thoughts and become an accountancy specialist , we all could be sitting and having a nice recall over drinks! Cheers to that!

It feels nice when the kids want to know my experience when I was growing up. My experiences are my memories today and when they stir up those memories, the whole panorama of days gone by begins to unfurl, some surreal, some vague but most rather clear. Nice to know some patterns working in their minds when they kind of address my weaknesses in certain subjects when I was their age and how I dealt with them. Maybe my not so crafted but honest answers is building certain expectations in their minds and as long as they work on their weaknesses and build on their strengths, all my work should be done largely. Were you good in this subject or that ? and were you an all rounder ? or a nerd ? or even a failure in certain things ? is all getting stored in their rather impressionable minds. Together with their experiences in sneaking through back doors, casually glancing over uncharted territories, making those many dime a dozen has – been excuses, going through those crushes etc. etc. ( am sure I will have enough to share as they grow up) will be their hindsight theory tomorrow.

So much to look forward to!!