Perception not equal to reality equals to much disappointment. The feeling is disturbing in some measure, dealing with it takes time and like it or not , this IS the hard fact of our day to day existence with people, places and things.
The good in your eyes is not so good when the better is expected from an outside evaluation standpoint. In one instance, it was a rude shock to the concerned teacher when there was a disconnect between his expectation of the student and the final outcome on the report card. In another one, the coach was sure to have this kid in the basketball team but the substitute coach felt the very opposite. Both these experiences naturally left the kids rather disturbed , but somewhere my heart too bled as a parent.The mismatch between perception and reality really DID disappoint me!
Disappointments are very much a part of a child’s growing up , be it as simple as not being elected the monitor, ( much rather cannot boss around!!) , exempted from the coveted school club ( here you get to go out of school and that fun is missed out!!) standing nowhere in an event for which they have felt there couldn’t have been any better prepared , complete failure in an activity in which they consider themselves as good as good can be! and many others currently in their limited scope of exposure.
We all adults who live in the adage of “been there done that” , CAN ONLY emphasise and highlight to them the importance of carrying on , not giving up easily and to strive for continued improvement. A good practice on our part could also be to NOT go overboard over small achievements every single time, NOT to indulge in repeated treats for doing their obvious work well and in time, to be level headed and casual about daily happenings and to teach them as and when that disappointments are perfectly OK and they must be dealt !It will only help them become stronger and better.
3 thoughts on “Disappointments are perfectly OK!”
It’s so nice to hear this from a parent!
As a piano teacher, I need to teach my students to hear themselves play, to hear what’s good and what needs work and then work on their weak areas. This starts with the teacher critiquing the student, and then teaching the student to do this during piano practise.
And it’s funny, cos every so often we piano teachers come across parents who only want positive feedback and get angry if the teacher says there’s scope for improvement!!
Most of these kids don’t last in piano class, because they get defensive with even minor corrections and therefore can’t be taught. But it’s sad. Cos this kind of parent isn’t preparing their child to deal with disappointment and how to move on from it.
Keep writing, because it may just get one of the above parents to change.
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Yes Anita, will continue writing as the idea is to share my thoughts and maybe it syncs with some other parents!
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