Beingmommy, General

Short and sweet!

A departure from my otherwise written posts on behaviour/attitude/observations /experiences etc.around kids.

Here is my forever happy time list with the kids-

  • A nice bake or a yummy shake!( if drizzled with the sprinkles and the silver balls, even better!)
  • An unexpected small bauble randomly given to them ! If this qualifies as current fad collectibles, would be even more loved!!( moms agony of more junk in the house,but never mind!)
  • An unannounced trip to meet their favourite buddy.(out of turn, out of time!)
  • A complete binge day for gadgets and devices! ( this one will give mommy as many brownie points as she wants!)
  • A kitchen drawer full of their favourite savouries and candies ! ( from one lollipop to the other chip!)
  • A day for no NO’s!!! ( mother, are you serious???!)

 

Very doable , the only person who comes in the way is me ! So, on some days and I would say more on a regular basis, would be nice to incorporate a thing or two from the above ( and maybe some more!) and break all self created rules! Seriously. Am certain of priceless reactions and not to miss those even warmer hugs!

Beingmommy, General, Parenting

Handy lists with kids around

Many a times, when our child is sick 😷/ unwell 🤒  and ends up showing the same / somewhat similar symptoms as the previous time, one somehow has a memory lapse on the magic ” last time it worked ” medicines to be given, and this is rather annoying! Why does my memory not jog faster, so I start to think! Here , I am referring to ailments like a sudden nasty cold, cold with cough/headache, fever with chills, harsh sore throat, stomach pains with spasms, frequency of loo trips and the many other dealable ones. Not for anything else, one just gets so caught up in dealing with the ailing kid that the mind goes numb ! In this, a ready list can be referred to before calling the medical help. Most cases and most times, the list will pop out the relevant medication along with the dosage and the doctor intervention is avoided. Its just that this list should be handy , somewhere on the fridge or pasted inside their cupboards or wherever one feels appropriate! I have found this to be really helpful and useful!

Another list where medicals are concerned is the listing of all future time bound vaccinations to be administered ! We come back from one and since the next one is like 6 months away, it promptly goes out of mind!! I have been in this situation way many times which is what prompted me to list them down and put it in their medical files. It’s another thing of how does one remind oneself in looking at those files!! Well, this can be marked on the general household kitchen calendar which is used for other such similar listings..it has worked for me..

Yet another interesting  listing has been very handy in case of last minute ” mom, I need to dress up/ enact  a hunter/ monkey for school tomorrow ” type of times. This list essentially has the ready information about those hallowe’en masks, those pirate patches, the master chef aprons, the clown noses, the hunter hats, those odd coloured yarns, the many different animal masks amongst many others similar stuff. If one is lucky or if the discretion to be the character for the talent show or the school performance is in your hands, then, VOILA ! you are more than done!

Good idea to put down ” kids’ list to be made” in our everyday to-do lists if it isn’t already there!

Beingmommy, Mindfulness l, Parenting

LET THEM BE

I wish I can let this “mommy holiday attitude and temperament ” become my permanent trait! There is a sense of calm and easy living when the kids are on their term/ summer/winter break.Everything that has to, moves on , rest waits! The sometimes subtle but rather constant rants and nags are also on a break! Basically children are just left to BE. I know this has a lot to do with no set timelines and no routines to be followed , still, walking with this attitude for the rest of the year is something I would simply love. REALLY.

While they are still young and the pressures of higher classes has not yet kicked in, it’s nice to let them be, spend their time in a care free manner and let their minds wander. The free time they have heightens their imagination , some crazy, some rational but on the whole, interesting and NICE. In any case, before we know , time just flies!

Just as our greens are watered only as much and then are left on their own, likewise, for the children as well. Just nurturing them appropriately, not less, not more and then waiting for them to grow and blossom would be more joyous than anything else. Giving them the space they need to grow into mature adults is something that we should give and hopefully tomorrow they will not disappoint us.

With relationships in the adult world becoming more and more fragile, it will be the kids who have been given this non nagging and free space and timely detachment /disentangling from our apron springs , eventually grow into people who can manage their future relationships better.

BE FOR THEM BUT LET THEM BE!!

 

Beingmommy, Parenting

GREAT EXPECTATIONS!!

Human nature is one of expectations ( though many would beg to differ) about many things – looks , weight, wants, desires, friends, family etc. etc. SO!  why leave the kids alone from this enormous burden we all take upon ourselves ? Great to look at the picture down here and have that gentle smirk or even that subtle smile about it but am sure all parents out there are guilty of this little talk at some point or the other.

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So many expectations we all have of our kids. As much as I would like to think otherwise, in my own little way, I too fall in this trap! See them doing something nice and worthwhile and there goes the mind in telling me that this is it! This is my child’s calling! Then a few days on and this is dumped right under my nose! There goes my expectations on this front..why, just why did I think a MASTER will emerge from this new found and new loved activity or a passion?

A positive way is to ask our kids to raise the bar and their expectations of their doings in THEIR OWN EYES. The ball is thus in their court and lets allow them to serve an ace at their own pace. This may also bring in a sense of elevated self belief and confidence in them. We all would be happy too!!

Another experience I have had is that while it’s great to talk aloud about the many happy doings on their part , it’s equally beneficial to keep them to one’s mind only , to smile about the repeated successes or to quietly deal with the unexpected outcome.

So let’s just once again, breathe ( it’s become almost my go to word of late) , enjoy and savour the moments, take it easy, realistically EXPECT good behaviour and manners from them and for the rest, remind and affirm ourselves that nature will take its course! As long as we are honest about our behaviour worthy expectations ( and they CAN see them rather clearly) the battle is won! Let’s wait for time to unfold the many small joys and surprises. Till such time, as their custodians, let’s practice to say what we mean and mean what we say!!

Beingmommy, General, Parenting

MIX AND MATCH

I love football! I love skating! I want to try the drums! My friend is learning to run the hurdles! etc. etc. etc. So many choices, so much to choose from and WHAT WILL WORK!? Questions like these are very common.

My recipe for the right mix in learning and growing is rather conservative. Note please that this is ONLY MY RECIPE and am perfectly at peace with what others want to consume.

It’s not been very many years that my journey and experiments thereof have started with kids but in the limited understanding so far, the mix that I find good is a combination of a creative and a physical pursuit. My two go for one each of the mentioned mix. The creative energy is satiated by any art form, be it music, dance, drama, sketching and the likes and the physical part is addressed by a game play, be it structured or even an informal one works. In this, I have observed that the emotional,social,kinetics and the other 4 intelligence are all put to good use. So the theory of the multiple intelligence are , so far , going in the direction the many writers want it to! In this,my mention of the outdoor game play is of significance. It just brings out the joy of growing up even more! The little challenges taken by the children to UP their standards in their eyes is awe worthy..also, the social quotient significantly goes up..eventually it’s this growth which makes them soar in later years of their lives.

Another mention here is if kids can take up one each of an individual and a team sport, it’s even better..but here, I have observed that children are either/or in this department..either they love a team sport or they are quite comfortable in pursuing an individual one..I am still trying for a heady mix of the 2 and I know I will get there sometime soon.

Meanwhile happy decision making ( a cumbersome time consuming process ) in making our children grow up to be well rounded individuals capable of handling all that is tossed to them.

Beingmommy, Parenting

BORING IS NORMAL?

JUST the other day, between measured device time and outdoor stimulations, I asked my precious two to plough their minds into something very different with the rights given even to go bizarre, if they so wished! ( I secretly was hoping though that they don’t take my advise to be bizarre very seriously ,which they didn’t much to my great relief ! else the mommy in me would have taken a different shape).

With the first obvious resentments, I did see some good creativity..games were being made out of old used papers and these were put in my forthcoming daughters’ birthday planner! One thing led to other and a whole list of stuff was jotted down. Of course, in this, random head counts were also added as my little girl who’s turning all of 8 soon has many many girls whom she lovingly calls friends ( we will address this issue later!) What i saw and what I always knew is that the idle mind is no devil’s workshop in children’s case , it’s quite the contrary in fact.Boredom sometimes gets the best out of them..actually, I quite resent the word per se and I try and dissuade my kids from using it.At times, I also mummy other kids when I hear this word!

On and all, its a good sign if a TODAY’S child is feeling bored. In fact, at times, assigning boring tasks like laying the table, tidying up the place after meals, clearing and setting up their places like the cupboards, book shelves, corners which they label as their own etc. may not be a bad idea after all. It’s nice to give them these not very stimulating jobs as they may prove beneficial in the longer run..so, lets treat boring as normal and introduce this insipid flavour in their otherwise exciting and yummy lives.

Beingmommy

Beaming mommy:)

A lovely new year resolution made by my cuties..” Mum,please keep 2 jars ready for us when we get back home from school today”. I say ok and when they have left, get down to ribboning 2 plastic jars round their necks and neatly labelling them with their names on them. I very often concede to their such small requests!!They come home and say that they have made a new year resolution and pray what’s that!! It’s a good deed done each week to be written on coloured paper and thrown in the jar! ( I very happily give them coloured bits of memo papers) . They say at the end of the year, they will read them all and reflect, smile , smirk, laugh, feel happy for all the good they have done through the year! Am still beaming at this lovely thought and for once, I seriously wish THIS resolution stays!!