General, Mindfulness l

Spring cleaning!

Spring cleaning, woo hooo!! Love it when there is that mood to declutter! And it could actually happen anytime or several times a year. The idea is to maximise on the feeling when it sets in!

Am sure many of us moms like to safely store and keep things for the younger siblings ..I had those train sets bought for my son and saved it for my little girl to use it one day, then those half used colouring / connecting the dots books , the many jigsaw puzzles and many other such trivia. Why , I thought that my younger one would wear those plain basic jeans! I mean , a pair of jeans is a pair of jeans and you really can’t go wrong but , when it was time for her to try it on, oh well, it didn’t look any good! I did pull out those dinky cars and the bey blades to even out the boy/ girl barrier, but honestly, they didn’t survive very long! So the idea was not to reshelve them , no matter in how great condition they were, but simply to give them away! DECLUTTER! Out of sight, out of mind !!

It was a liberating feeling to do away with those many used books, odd coloured t shirts and not to miss those many chaotic stationery all over the place! Of course, this all happened in the absence of their rightful owners else they will go right back in the shelves / storage as their suddenly discovered favourites!

I have felt very good at the things I have managed to reuse and recycle and have personally applauded my efforts. But equally happy I am when I have passed on the old bed spreads, lamp shades, crockery and my love to sleep in /lounge clothes and those O so cool shoes for someone else to feel cool in them, if they wish to!

The freshness of spring and those flowers everywhere makes one feel bright and happy and doing away with unwanted, some day/ sometime may want, really do I want ? thoughts out from the mind. Not just the vibration around suddenly feels light and clear, even the mind seems to like it!

 

Beingmommy, Mindfulness l, Parenting

LET THEM BE

I wish I can let this “mommy holiday attitude and temperament ” become my permanent trait! There is a sense of calm and easy living when the kids are on their term/ summer/winter break.Everything that has to, moves on , rest waits! The sometimes subtle but rather constant rants and nags are also on a break! Basically children are just left to BE. I know this has a lot to do with no set timelines and no routines to be followed , still, walking with this attitude for the rest of the year is something I would simply love. REALLY.

While they are still young and the pressures of higher classes has not yet kicked in, it’s nice to let them be, spend their time in a care free manner and let their minds wander. The free time they have heightens their imagination , some crazy, some rational but on the whole, interesting and NICE. In any case, before we know , time just flies!

Just as our greens are watered only as much and then are left on their own, likewise, for the children as well. Just nurturing them appropriately, not less, not more and then waiting for them to grow and blossom would be more joyous than anything else. Giving them the space they need to grow into mature adults is something that we should give and hopefully tomorrow they will not disappoint us.

With relationships in the adult world becoming more and more fragile, it will be the kids who have been given this non nagging and free space and timely detachment /disentangling from our apron springs , eventually grow into people who can manage their future relationships better.

BE FOR THEM BUT LET THEM BE!!

 

General, Mindfulness l, Parenting

LAUGHTER is infectious!

Laugh and let laughter flow amidst the chaos of life! There are various mood uplifters like retail therapy,coffee with friends, longish walks, soaking in nature, pretty flowers, and the likes..however, one which is an instant one is to laugh out loud!

My 2 conspired amongst themselves that should they hear an unnecessary rant from my end, they would immediately try and dissolve it by going through a big bout of laughing..yes, when they did it initially,it did get to me but very soon I too joined in and in a minute, the infectious laughter became all consumed and the rants were forgotten.

The silliness of kid talk is all very well known. A silly limerick made by them, some words twisted and repeated ever so often, a jig or funny movements by them can be all ridiculous; however, laughing it out when they expect this of you is a small indulgence which can be offered . This might also become your instant mood booster and may brighten your hour! Of course, if this comes in the way of your important and serious chores, it can be rather annoying but then that’s what children excel at! To talk about the most irrelevant thing when you are in the midst of your bath routine , to grab your attention when you are attending to a supposedly important call, to make the most of the situation at hand when you have guests over and likewise.

In all of this, the one thing that keeps you going is a good laugh..so, lets make a good attempt to smile more often and try and get that funny bone tickled by the ones we care for and love! While they are small and the seriousness of life has yet not got to the kids, let’s make the most of the carefree, happy, childlike days spent in many happy laughs!! It sure will loosen up all those stressful bouts and negative emotions!!

 

General, Mindfulness l, Parenting

B A L A N C E

Some days I start my days by taking the customary yogic breathe – ins and breathe – outs to the count of 8 ..it’s somewhere a wonderful start for me. The day goes on peacefully without me raising my whisper forget my voice. Then there are days I find myself pigging on the leftover cake over the kitchen sink first thing in the morning and how the day goes with the kids , is well, the less said the better! I call this BALANCE!

It’s rather easy to see and know the dictionary meaning of the word but to practice it in real time, well , that’s the challenge! There is complete awareness of how the scales need to be balanced while dealing with kids but if only it can be done everyday! Certain ground rules are a must and adherence to the same is the key. Kids are very savvy to wrangle out an extra hour for TV watching on school days or randomly listening to a so-called  THE  song when it’s completely out of turn and tune! A good balance of temperament is what is needed most to handle such situations. This , for me, really comes from a firm affirmation to begin the day on a positive note. Honestly , as most mindful living books preach and teach – meditation , chants for some, first positive thoughts etc.sets the precedent for the day and once this is done, the day with kids is a cakewalk! It’s so very nice to close the day with the feel good feeling! There are days where I end them with perfect rants and feel good with that too but then as I say, that’s MY balance!

To try and maintain harmony in a household with school going children around, my experience is to plan out my days’ chores in a physically and mentally dealable manner, to try and not pack too much in those awake hours if they are really not time pressing urgencies. Of course, exceptions are there to this ideal mix but on a larger scale if a sort of doable list is maintained, the day seems sorted in most aspects and the smoothness of ones dealings with the children is for all to see! On that note, let’s try and figure out our own individual wheels to move on smoothly.

General, Mindfulness l, Parenting

CHILDREN DO LISTEN

” I feel I talk to the wall most times”, ” My child doesn’t seem to listen to me”, etc etc. These are commonly heard outside school gates or amidst parents interaction with one another.Well, my understanding in this matter is that children DO listen. It may seem, at times, it’s a failing battle, but all words of importance do get absorbed in their minds if it is communicated in a simple and effective manner. It may not seem so at times, but the fact is when it matters, the words would play their role!

In some cases and situations where frustration takes the better of you, the key is TO NOT GIVE UP. It is only the parent who can impart the values at this young tender age. At times, if one feels that the communication is not going in the direction you wish it to, a change of style, tone or rephrasing certain words may do the trick. Sometimes, a serious introspection and careful thinking as to why is it not going right may be required by the caregiver. If there is enough time spent with the child, there is no reason, other than a disorder of some nature, that your words are not soaked by them. If you can’t make him or her listen to you, step back, analyse the why’s and most important, BE PATIENT. The message will get through!

Getting the child’s attention when he’s most receptive is the way , in my mind, to go forward. Simple and short , terse , interesting, play way methods can go a long way in smooth flow of words and listening thereof. Once this ease of communication is established, the joys of exchange of thoughts and ideas will become very meaningful. My personal experience is to adopt a soft approach when you need to get your voice heard. So, stay there, measure your words, be at it , most importantly, be around and there’s no real reason why your child would not really listen to you!

Mindfulness l, Parenting

PAUSE….NOTES TO SELF

So far, my experiences have yielded in small but meaningful learnings for me in my journey as a parent so far. Collating them for myself under the title of don’t sweat the small stuff..

  • While it is our first time as parents in this world, this is not a new domain in the general world so let’s just go with our gut most times.
  • Phases ( and many of them) will come and go and this too shall pass should ideally be our mantra.
  • Fads too will very soon be a thing of the past.
  • It’s only love that drives the world and so love and let live.
  • Today’s seemingly tiring times will surely be tomorrow’s wonderful memories so let’s believe more in that.
  • As time moves on , so will they and it may be sooner than expected, so try and enjoy the present.
  •  Attitude is everything, so let’s live with this philosophy. It is bound to generate a win win situation for all.
  • Let the growing up journey be a simple one and lets strive towards this.
  •  We all know that actions speak louder than words so GO FOT IT
  •  Most importantly, TAKE IT EASY! CALM YOUR NERVES AND BREATHE

 

 

DISCLAIMER – I WILL TRY AND ABIDE BY WHAT I HAS WRITTEN ABOVE.

General, Mindfulness l, Parenting

Shhh…observe silently..

I am not very sure about dads but I believe somewhere mums do learn a thing or two from other mums..while the different strokes for different folks application holds true largely, observing and making necessary modifications is not a bad thing after all . The best is not always the best if we were to step aside and see the situation from a third angle perspective. In doing things real time, very often for me, time pressures and the idea to get done with it takes the better off the matter / issue at hand!

A lot can be learnt by mere observations and the responses thereof. I very often find myself telling the kids to find solutions by sheer observations. Of course, it’s not something they connect to immediately, but I feel in repeatedly talking about it, somewhere sometime soon, I may see the results. My pottering about in the house, tending to the greens, going about with stuff around the kitchen etc. is silently but surely setting the precedent for a certain behaviour or a certain expectation. From reading and largely by observing child behaviour, a lot of thoughtful insights can be gained.

Now that spring is almost in the air, and the trees around are awaiting the blooms, the sightings of pretty colourful birds on the barren branches are rather clearly visible. My 8 year old has been observing them at closer range and trying to see a certain pattern. It’s fascinating to note that in quiet observations, kids can learn a thing or two from nature.

As in various yogic and meditative practices, it is taught to be mindful about situations, it may be a great idea to teach the young minds the power of observation from a young age. They may just be more responsive than react to the many challenges that life will throw at them.