The UNCOMFORTABLE comfort zone


Who doesn’t like to feel comfortable in life’s daily grind! I’m settled, I’m sorted and I enjoy all my basic comforts..yes, great! But if this feeling seeps in for all of your life, it does mar or dampen your personal growth as a human being.Citing the example where children are concerned, here I go with my observations–

The little smarties have always a way with things, not willing to accompany their folks in places where their friends are missing in action or not wishing to try out any new food. While their trying to feel comfortable in their set up is a great feeling, but somewhere this becomes an impediment for new learnings..the best of the life teachings and learnings thereof comes when you are put in a tight spot..adults have witnessed this in many forms in their lives..then , to make the little ones feel overtly comfortable to the point of subtle “pampering ” if I may use the word , is something to be wary about..the more the mind is challenged, the more creative one gets. The more one is away from his comfort zone, the more adjustments are learnt. The more one is exposed to newer foods, the wider the palate becomes..

All these effects are really not felt in real time, but they go a long way in paving a physically and mentally stronger individual..the hidden benefits of learnings in uncomfortable situations can be quite something. Kids have an immense tendency for amoebic absorption , and as far as we can, we must let them experience many not- so- happy situations. As it’s an established fact with kids that learning first starts at home , the adults must make a good attempt at creating situations that are challenging and uncomfortable!

On that note, let me try and move from my comfort zone and get on with the many to- do’s!


General, Parenting

Respect for ALL


Give and get is what comes to one’s mind the minute this word is uttered! In the process of raising socially and emotionally balanced children, we start our explanations, reasonings, sometimes longest tirades with kids at an appropriate this , respect is one value which mostly is inculcated as an obvious but sometimes somewhere this needs to be reinforced..examples-

Respect for someone’s efforts – an emphasis on the effort a parent or caretaker takes in assembling and putting together a meal..I have noticed that kids always almost seem to either linger on the morsels in their mouths or on the flip side, swallow it down their throats! For something which has been at times, painstakingly put together, to see it go down the slide in seconds feels that whoops! What happened, how could my efforts be swallowed!? If only it had been relished or chewed delicately, wouldn’t it have been better?

Respect for privacy – here the challenge is to expect privacy in the presence of little nosey pokers! We can always get that little space in their absence but the idea here is to respect the privacy of the grown ups in their presence, much like how the moms and dads respect their space with their friends and peers.

Respect for grandparents – this swings from overt love and sentiments bursting out when their object of desire is met to a total 360 degree turn should the case not be.. here respecting the intentions and motives of the adults who are rather oblivious most times to the current fads of kids would be appreciated.

Respect for time-many a times the parent or the care giver is so very taken for granted where time is concerned! To have all their stuff dealt with, all their time bound activities slotted perfectly etc.etc.; again here to respect the fact that all this takes a good bit of time – management on the part of the people doing.

Last but not the least, teach kids to respect the similarities and differences between the many lot of people they will meet in the journey called LIFE.



General, Parenting

Kids and the word NO

How often adults end of doing stuff they simply don’t like because of the social, emotional, parental and other taboos this simple word would entail ?? All of us have been victims of boring conversations, mindless chatter, insipid invitations etc etc. So much is done to please others and thus displease self all for the refusal of a simple word. This word sure is powerful when you see how very effortlessly it is used and misused by kids.

My personal learning from children has been quite very easily the NO’S come from tiny mouths who have been on the planet for much shorter times than we have! Of course, a defiant no , a stubborn no is a big NO NO but what I have observed is how very wonderfully they seem to have a complete control on their minds in most situations dealing with humans, be it their peer groups, other parents and adults , even close friends etc..their clarity in probably trivial matters like choice of clothing, footwear etc. is also declined point blank as a matter of fact if they feel so. It’s NOT very nice to hear no’s ever so often, but then if we were to see it ,analyse it and non egotistically see their point, we may find that they are bang on! Their no’ are a very clear reflection of their simple innocent minds , free from any prejudices, free from any judgements , absolutely open and absolute honest in expressing their feelings.. They say it because they mean it..there’s no string or any emotion attached to it..I don’t like a certain “X” and I don’t like a certain “Y” comes very naturally and rather normally to them. Here our own prejudices come in the way of accepting their choices and going with them. In introspection and hindsight, my personal learning in polite refusals has certainly gone up! Small learnings from kids have been great! More so , if little girls can be explained the firmness of this simple word and how it would , at a later date, come to their own good use, we may be living in a world with very few #METOO situations! NO! I really mean it!


Hail Netflix!

Hail Netflix ! Besides providing entertainment, it has also given me several insights to deal with issues, be it the life changing ones or the inspirational stories etc. Here, let me draw the attention towards “kids management”. Ever so often, while dealing with simple matters related to children, we often slip up only to regret it later on..let’s face it, the big career of pursuing kids management is fairly hands- on to most of us..why, we didn’t train to be parents at the word go but are ensuing this job hands, many a slip between the cup and the lip is a part of the deal, but in hindsight when we look back, a sense of regret and a fair bit of remorse are the emotions we face. Here is where the super entertainment giant has come to my rescue! The simplicity with which growing -up matters has been dealt with is simply amazing! Of course, being stage managed and rehearsed several times over is why it looks and sounds the way it does, nonetheless ,I have taken certain leads from them and am trying my very best to replicate them in my day to day dealings!! The dynamics of handling situations differs vastly from person to person , but , in general, the laws applied remain the same..really appreciate the narratives of shows like ATYPICAL, THIS IS US etc. for paving the way for smoother transactions with children!


Beaming mommy:)

A lovely new year resolution made by my cuties..” Mum,please keep 2 jars ready for us when we get back home from school today”. I say ok and when they have left, get down to ribboning 2 plastic jars round their necks and neatly labelling them with their names on them. I very often concede to their such small requests!!They come home and say that they have made a new year resolution and pray what’s that!! It’s a good deed done each week to be written on coloured paper and thrown in the jar! ( I very happily give them coloured bits of memo papers) . They say at the end of the year, they will read them all and reflect, smile , smirk, laugh, feel happy for all the good they have done through the year! Am still beaming at this lovely thought and for once, I seriously wish THIS resolution stays!!

General, Uncategorized

Small learnings

I have observed that the best way to teach children is through their and your regular daily routine.Each day we go through various chores as a matter of routine and in that if my child’s curiosity is raised as to why mom does certain things everyday, small lessons for life begin to seep in.Cleaning , for one is a regular activity in most households and when I am at it, I give my little ones their little nook and watch them feel proud of their efforts in owning up to their crazy little corner. Sometimes, I amrather persistent , loud and stern with my words much to their dislike but I have felt the need to do so to drive home my point! I seriously don’t think that age is a deterrant to their understanding and learning. Just because they are kids doesn’t make them mess around ! Small habits formed early on stay on for life.

I drive them around everywhere.! At every step, I explain, explain and explain the why’s and the what’s.The  child can learn all his road sense, road manners, car manners, car cleanliness etc.just  by seeing you and observing your behaviour. Again, I may have to repeat my words for effect, so be it! Asking my older one to alight first, then tend to the younger one for ex. , showing empathy along the way to people lesser priveleged than them, explaining that fruit peels and candy wrappers need not decorate my car, etc.etc. All these are small learnings which hopefully will go a long way in their lives.