Tag: communication

General, Parenting

TALKING TOMS

growingupmatters

I am my childrens’ biggest sounding board for every minute detail of their lives so far! Maybe the age of innocence is still on or maybe I am an always available mum to them! Also, my two talk nineteen to a dozen! Yes , we all are aware that one has to be physically present when there is a need to communicate but I would like to believe that strong emotional ties would do the work just as well in their limited presence. It’s the feeling with which we reciprocate their banter that sets the wheel of communication in motion. This ” coming out of heart and honest ” feeling is very quickly sensed by the kids and the gates open up.

In this healthy exchange of words, their inappropriate language can be corrected, the usage of unnecessary words can be thwarted, the origin of their fears can be understood and so many other patterns of growing up can be sensed . The key here is to simply LISTEN and do so honesty and with all ears..anything less and their mouths will shut.

Some kids yes, are quiet and not so communicative by nature but they do send enough cues for you to pick up. Here, a good deal of patience is needed to extract those words from their mouths but it’s a given that they will pour out as long as the receptiveness is sensed by them.

So in an age where technology has consumed us in ways beyond our boundaries, may be worthwhile to rejoin the living rather than living in whatsapp and start to build strong communication channels for our kids and us to sail smoothly.

General, Mindfulness l, Parenting

CHILDREN DO LISTEN

growingupmatters

” I feel I talk to the wall most times”, ” My child doesn’t seem to listen to me”, etc etc. These are commonly heard outside school gates or amidst parents interaction with one another.Well, my understanding in this matter is that children DO listen. It may seem, at times, it’s a failing battle, but all words of importance do get absorbed in their minds if it is communicated in a simple and effective manner. It may not seem so at times, but the fact is when it matters, the words would play their role!

In some cases and situations where frustration takes the better of you, the key is TO NOT GIVE UP. It is only the parent who can impart the values at this young tender age. At times, if one feels that the communication is not going in the direction you wish it to, a change of style, tone or rephrasing certain words may do the trick. Sometimes, a serious introspection and careful thinking as to why is it not going right may be required by the caregiver. If there is enough time spent with the child, there is no reason, other than a disorder of some nature, that your words are not soaked by them. If you can’t make him or her listen to you, step back, analyse the why’s and most important, BE PATIENT. The message will get through!

Getting the child’s attention when he’s most receptive is the way , in my mind, to go forward. Simple and short , terse , interesting, play way methods can go a long way in smooth flow of words and listening thereof. Once this ease of communication is established, the joys of exchange of thoughts and ideas will become very meaningful. My personal experience is to adopt a soft approach when you need to get your voice heard. So, stay there, measure your words, be at it , most importantly, be around and there’s no real reason why your child would not really listen to you!