Tag: Parenting

General, Mindfulness l

Hail Teachers

growingupmatters

Hail this community more than ever before! Is never easy to have a smiling face and a cheerful disposition at all times and now with a screen to talk to all day and elicit a response without having to raise your voice is more than applauded. Some may beg to differ on this observation but that’s perfectly ok. In my opinion, the challenges faced are more than many and to come out of it when we see the other side of our current gloom with their heads intact will be quite a treat to all.


With the constant surround sound, one is but forced to know the teaching style, the tone and otherwise other guarded secrets, away from the pry of a breed called the “parents”. A mere, how was your day ? at the end of school hours was all one was used to and the rest was never known too much to form an opinion on anyone. Now, all their cards are wide open and the situation doesn’t give them any choice. As people , we would all like some parts of us to be only ours, even in our thought process and speech but with such levels of constancy in talking, these “only my” thoughts also begin to creep out in some ways. As long as it’s subtle , they’re good but kids somehow have an uncanny knack of digging and probing and sometimes bringing out the worst in adults. They do so with us parents, so am sure the teachers too face the brunt of their constant probing. It’s amazing to see their patience level when they have to repeat instructions/ concepts over and over again to bring the matter down to the least common denominator in the respective class. Patience on their part, as a virtue is so so visible now, albeit willy- nilly at times, am sure.


This is one community which has shown many what selfless support is all about. In this, judgement calls are still exercised by some which I feel are so uncalled for. It’s like a court battle is on and a slight blink can make the judge in parents come out loud and strong! If at all, a humane approach is all what needs to be shown for these tireless set of educators. The much needed golden words of appreciation are to be generously used now.
Let’s hope we lockdown  our individual biases when the children step out and meet and greet these noble souls with all the adulation and merit they deserve. It would be a win -win for all.

Beingmommy, Parenting

BORING IS NORMAL?

growingupmatters

JUST the other day, between measured device time and outdoor stimulations, I asked my precious two to plough their minds into something very different with the rights given even to go bizarre, if they so wished! ( I secretly was hoping though that they don’t take my advise to be bizarre very seriously ,which they didn’t much to my great relief ! else the mommy in me would have taken a different shape).

With the first obvious resentments, I did see some good creativity..games were being made out of old used papers and these were put in my forthcoming daughters’ birthday planner! One thing led to other and a whole list of stuff was jotted down. Of course, in this, random head counts were also added as my little girl who’s turning all of 8 soon has many many girls whom she lovingly calls friends ( we will address this issue later!) What i saw and what I always knew is that the idle mind is no devil’s workshop in children’s case , it’s quite the contrary in fact.Boredom sometimes gets the best out of them..actually, I quite resent the word per se and I try and dissuade my kids from using it.At times, I also mummy other kids when I hear this word!

On and all, its a good sign if a TODAY’S child is feeling bored. In fact, at times, assigning boring tasks like laying the table, tidying up the place after meals, clearing and setting up their places like the cupboards, book shelves, corners which they label as their own etc. may not be a bad idea after all. It’s nice to give them these not very stimulating jobs as they may prove beneficial in the longer run..so, lets treat boring as normal and introduce this insipid flavour in their otherwise exciting and yummy lives.

Parenting

The UNCOMFORTABLE comfort zone

growingupmatters

 

Who doesn’t like to feel comfortable in life’s daily grind! I’m settled, I’m sorted and I enjoy all my basic comforts..yes, great! But if this feeling seeps in for all of your life, it does mar or dampen your personal growth as a human being.Citing the example where children are concerned, here I go with my observations–

The little smarties have always a way with things, not willing to accompany their folks in places where their friends are missing in action or not wishing to try out any new food. While their trying to feel comfortable in their set up is a great feeling, but somewhere this becomes an impediment for new learnings..the best of the life teachings and learnings thereof comes when you are put in a tight spot..adults have witnessed this in many forms in their lives..then , to make the little ones feel overtly comfortable to the point of subtle “pampering ” if I may use the word , is something to be wary about..the more the mind is challenged, the more creative one gets. The more one is away from his comfort zone, the more adjustments are learnt. The more one is exposed to newer foods, the wider the palate becomes..

All these effects are really not felt in real time, but they go a long way in paving a physically and mentally stronger individual..the hidden benefits of learnings in uncomfortable situations can be quite something. Kids have an immense tendency for amoebic absorption , and as far as we can, we must let them experience many not- so- happy situations. As it’s an established fact with kids that learning first starts at home , the adults must make a good attempt at creating situations that are challenging and uncomfortable!

On that note, let me try and move from my comfort zone and get on with the many to- do’s!

 

General, Parenting

Confidence,competent,contentment

growingupmatters

Confidence and Competency go hand in hand..the confidence with which we do something which comes very naturally to us, without making any significant effort,the ease with which we go about things that are ” normal” to us, be it cleaning,baking,clearing and the likes makes us all feel wonderful. Likewise, I
notice kids too feel supremely confident when the task they take at hand is completed with their own competent efforts.Kids today are tossed around in various classes and many extra curriculars, some because of their own likely interest ,some by seeing the interest in their peers, some mindless swaying with the current trends in activities while some seeing and getting carried away by the other childrens’ accomplishments .This, somewhere gives the child a confidence boost or a confidence low.The activity which your child eventually takes up after all your trials and his tribulations is the one which, I can say, will be  where his core competency lies. Once the path is chosen, you find the once sunken confidence being replaced by a bright face again.It could be a temporary high, but nonetheless it is something which could pave the way for future endeavours   for the child.The part that we can play here is to go completely with the flow, trust the child’s judgement and give his high a boost. In doing this, there is contentment for all concerned. After all, for your child, you can only show him where to look, what he sees there is entirely his ! This is stemming from his own sense where  of competency and this is what gives him confidence ! On that note, happy confidence building in happy recognition of competence and thereby happy contentment.

 

General, Parenting

Kids and the word NO

growingupmatters

How often adults end of doing stuff they simply don’t like because of the social, emotional, parental and other taboos this simple word would entail ?? All of us have been victims of boring conversations, mindless chatter, insipid invitations etc etc. So much is done to please others and thus displease self all for the refusal of a simple word. This word sure is powerful when you see how very effortlessly it is used and misused by kids.

My personal learning from children has been quite something..how very easily the NO’S come from tiny mouths who have been on the planet for much shorter times than we have! Of course, a defiant no , a stubborn no is a big NO NO but what I have observed is how very wonderfully they seem to have a complete control on their minds in most situations dealing with humans, be it their peer groups, other parents and adults , even close friends etc..their clarity in probably trivial matters like choice of clothing, footwear etc. is also declined point blank as a matter of fact if they feel so. It’s NOT very nice to hear no’s ever so often, but then if we were to see it ,analyse it and non egotistically see their point, we may find that they are bang on! Their no’ are a very clear reflection of their simple innocent minds , free from any prejudices, free from any judgements , absolutely open and absolute honest in expressing their feelings.. They say it because they mean it..there’s no string or any emotion attached to it..I don’t like a certain “X” and I don’t like a certain “Y” comes very naturally and rather normally to them. Here our own prejudices come in the way of accepting their choices and going with them. In introspection and hindsight, my personal learning in polite refusals has certainly gone up! Small learnings from kids have been great! More so , if little girls can be explained the firmness of this simple word and how it would , at a later date, come to their own good use, we may be living in a world with very few #METOO situations! NO! I really mean it!